who am I, where's my good girl gone?


Summer is nearly upon us and everything is so daunting. I have 8 weeks of school until the holidays and a massive pile of procrastinated coursework to sort through and complete. The thought of summer holidays and my trip to the US is making things slightly more bearable, but then their's the thought that once summer comes around we've more or less hit the halfway mark of 2015 and uGhHhhH, I had/have so many big plans but nothing's happening so far and my brain is being fried with the ~major~ decisions I'm supposed to be making before the end of the year, which, if you haven't gathered, is coming around way too quick.

This is an outfit I wore sometime last week during the Easter holz when I figured that it would be wise to take outfit pics while the sun was still shining. 

I've been loving two things right now, charity shops and diy-ing my own clothes. The connection between the two happens to be the fact that they seem to be a reflection on how desperately broke I am right now and how much time I shouldn't have, but seem to find on my hands.

This 'fit features the new and cutest polka-dotty shirt that I picked up at a charity shop sometime last week and the denim jacket that was boring me and needed a makeover. 

top - charity shop
everything else - Penneys/Primark
I'm wearing my new favourite shirt with my soft-as-kitten's-fur velvet skirt from my good ol' friend, Penneys/Primark which I got like 2 years ago for €3. Bargain hunting skillz = A+  
Also, I added orange-y lipstick and shiny shoes because massive polka dots on a bright blue shirt and velvet are soOoO *overdramatic eye roll* boring, right?

My denim jacket is from Penneys/Primark which I bough a while ago. It was inspired by this tutorial kianahearts posted on her youtube channel.  It's pretty straight forward, a bit of fabric paint and stencil and there ya have it. I've been getting a ton of compliments from people for this lil creation and most people, particularly of the woman kind, love the message - GRLS BITE BACK [badly painted lipstick stain]. I'm pretty proud of it, it makes me feel like the baddest grrl in town and it's a great f---boy repellent. 

To end this little style commentary, I leave you with an awkward as frick gif of me twirling around while the upper half of my body looks as stiff as a stick. Gold star for trying, Victory.


Thoughts Recently

1) Sorta outa nowhere I've decided I want to be part of or start a feminist club, or something along those lines. I have no clue how to go about it, seeing that my school is sort of too small to have a feminist club plus none of my friends quite identify with the term "feminist" (yet?), but I guess that's part of the drive behind wanting to start one, to let people know what feminism is. It would be pretty cool, like a sisterhood sort of thing, because I mean it has to be scientifically proven somewhere that when a bunch of girls work together it's scary amazing what they can do. 

2) I'm dying to see The Sisterhood of the Night, I haven't got round to watching it yet, but it looks like such a beautiful movie. I heard about it through Rookie and was drawn to it, ultimately because of the magical pictures that were taken by Olivia, but also because she said that it was a movie "about the bond between girls" which points back to what I said above about the power of a strong bond between girls. One reason why girls should work to bring each other up, instead of put each other down!
Enjoy a few of the magical pics that were taken by Olivia, and also can I add that Kara Hayward (Suzy Bishop - Moonrise Kingdom) and Georgie Henley (Lucy - Narnia) are in it, if you can watch it, do! 

3) Tavi's editor's letters for Rookie from the month of February and March seriously resonated with me on a whole other level. Especially the part in February's Editor's Letter where she says, 
"I am wary of coming off as obnoxious or opinionated or in possession of any personality whatsoever. I don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable or suffocated or imposed upon. "

and in March's Editor's Letter where she says,
"I want very badly to be good, kind, “myself” with other people. I worry that “myself” sucks, so I think about everything I’m about to say very hard, and then usually end up not saying anything at all."

This sort of my life right now, especially with the people I find myself crossing paths with a whole lot more lately, it sucks.

4) Amandla Stenberg aka Rue from the Hunger Games aka my favourite person ever posted a video on her tumblr this week called 'Don't Cash Crop My Cornrows' where she broke down the appropriation of black culture. I love seeing people like her, with the position they hold in the public eye, stimulating conversation on important subjects such as this one. Even if you're not American (which I am not) the question, "what would America be like if we loved black people as much as we love black culture?" asked at the end is still very relevant to everybody and every country. While you're pondering this question, why not take time to appreciate the dreamiest grl gang in town: 

Yes, Tavi, Willow, and Amandla. Dreams come true, my friends, and hopefully one day I will be able to grace the presence of these unbelievably amazing ladies. 

5) Journal entry: "I'm living vicariously through the life of my younger sister while simultaneously trying not to care"

6) I'm becoming a whole lot more aware of how I communicate with people irl. When I write, words flow so easily and thoughts come together so quick. I feel so much more intelligent when I write out an essay or type up a blog post, then when I talk to someone face to face. I find that my brain turns to mush and, consequently, I become an incoherent mess and sound like I was never taught anything re: the English grammar. 

7) I'm way too obsessed with the Annie Soundtrack (just in case you couldn't tell by the title), Sia's voice, and Freaks and Geeks right now. 

8)  Currently in love with some college film student/musician whom I've properly met once and drove past once (that has to count for something) and who happens to look like a mixture of a young Heath Ledger (10 Things I Hate About You) and Jason Segal in the 90s (Freaks and Geeks). 

9) I guess all you guys know about Zayn leaving One Direction, which happens to be extremely sad stuff, but life is piecing itself back together and limping along and I must go with it. I feel slightly guilty for not writing a tribute post to him even though I wanted to. If you do want to a read a tribute post to this amazing human being, there's a sweet one on Rookie, it's great for a sense closure and peace about this whole devastating situation. 


Slightly jam-packed post, consisting of a lot of unpremeditated RookieMag promo, oops. There's been a whole lot swimming around my cranium recently, and most of these thoughts are the unfortunate and neglected drafts that were forgotten about and never got posted. 

As I finish, I just want to remind you beautiful ladies out there to love and support each other, don't put each other down !! !! !! remember, we all rock !! !! !! 

*lyric from Who Am I? - The Annie Soundtrack (2014)

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  1. That jacket is seriously mind-blowing and can't wait for Sisterhood of the Night, it looks awesome. By the way, have you heard about the film Perfect Sisters? Georgie's in that too and so's Abigail Breslin. Explores a different but just as intense kind of female bond. And I get what you mean about the writing thing, it's so much easier to sound functioning in words you write down than in the ones you say out loud. xoxo


    1. Thank uUu, Lydia!! I haven't heard of that movie, but I totally must check it out! <3

  2. just had a total binge read of your blog and i love it! That jacket is awesome and sisterhood of night is on my 2015 watch-list. Also keep going with your feminist group/girl gang! it sounds amazing! dw about your friends not feeling the same, last year only one of my friends identify as a feminist and now they've found their girl power

    Rosie (older feminist sister!)

    1. ugh thank u so much x10!! I'm hoping they will!! <3

  3. I love this jacket i cant wait for sisterhood of the night!

  4. i <3 <3 <3 your jacket so much!! and that skirt too. you should so set up a feminist club!! it could be a good way to get people not identifying as feminist as more comfortable with the term and concept?? my college has one and it's super interesting. THANK YOU for posting amandla's video - i now have the biggest of girl crushes on her and the video was amazing as i'm ashamed to say that this cultural appropriation issue is not something i know a huge deal about, which is obviously not good. it's something so important yet i've been completely unintentionally oblivious/ignorant i guess?? so anyway, that video was a real eye opener. i'm gonna have to do some reading on all of this, so thank you for the starting point. also, that tavi quote about being yourself was so scarily relevant and relatable that i literally felt sick reading it... i'm not so good at meeting/interacting with new people my age, and starting college in september really pointed this out. i spend literally most of my time at college not saying anything in fear of coming across badly, which ends up in literally no one taking any notice. i kinda wish i could start again with it all ahaha right ramble over, basically this post was on point man xox


    1. also, omg zayn <////////3

    2. thanks so much, man! I'm super glad I was able to "introduce" you to this issue, Amandla is sucha babe and I heart her so much for doing this video! I literally felt the same way when I read those quotes too, man, but there's also that lil tidbit of advice Tavi gives at the end which is always helpful. Thank uUu again for the sweet comment!! <3

  5. your jacket is so flippin cool, man!! THAT MOVIE! Ever since I saw those behind the scenes shots on Rookie, I've been in love with it! I hope your decisions work out ok, go with your heart, follow your dreamz (insert more cheesy cliches here.)

    1. thanks, man! those pictures make the movie look so dreamy and magical, right?! I can't wait to see it!! thanks for the encouraging words, man!! :') <3 <3 <3

    2. yup the photos are HELLA dreamy! Olivia Bee is so talented dklkjhgfdertyujkljk

  6. First, I am in love with your jacket, I am totally going to do something like that on mine. Also, that girl you got the idea from, I am so happy you linked her channel because i just fell in love with her!!!! Plus, that gif is super cute!!!! Second, that movie looks too good, how come I haven't heard of it?!?!! I seriously think I live in a rock sometimes, ahhahahah. Lastly, Stenberg, LOVE. HER. I've been seeing more of her lately on the interrrrnet and she's a dream (and so is tavi and willow, plus the others in that girl gang)!!!! And that college student sounds like a babe, you gotta go for it. OH AND ZAYN LEAVING: CRAZY. SO MUCH IN ONE POST AND I LOVE IT!!!!!

    1. Thank uUu, I'm in love with it too!! Kiana is sucha cutie, her channel is my favourite ever! The movie was like released like 2 weeks ago, I probably wouldn't have heard about it if it weren't for Rookie (reason #80348 why i <3 Rookie). The ultimate goal is like to get inducted into their grl gang, I would die. He is a supermassivebabe uGhHH!! [30 second silence in remembrance of zayn] :'( Thank you soOooOoo much Josselyn!! <3 <3 <3

  7. 1. Your jacket is hella. I'm really tempted to go make one now but I also know that I have a History test to revise for. Your shoes are amazing.
    2. Amandla! Awethu! ('Power to the people' in Zulu). I really love that she's living up to her name and doing important things. I think it's so easy to be 16 and famous and never say anything and I'm incredibly impressed that not only does she speak well, but on the pertinent stuff and she's always prepared to listen and so on. Love her.
    3. Tavi, Willow and Amandla broke my heart for a few good hours. I wanna be in that sandwich so bad. Even if it means I'm the one taking all the photos.
    4. Sisterhood of the Night seems really cool. I'm going to check it out soon.
    6. Tavi's words on being yourself and yourself sucking are so relevant to my life. I just had to take a break to send that to my friend so we could have an emoji conversation about how hard it is to seem like YOU you really want to be verbally. I have a pen pal person (is it still a pen pal when you text message the person? Maybe Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story can answer this) and I'm so afraid of meeting up because he might realise that I'm actually pretty stupid outside the four corners of a cellphone screen, you know?

    That is all.


    1. Thank uUu, your comments always make my whole entire life, Khensani! (also congrats on getting featured on i-D, so bloody awesome!!!) I totally get you on #6 man, like I would kill to meet you guys in person, but I'm filled with dread that I won't be even a fraction of how cool the internet [falsely] makes me look, then it becomes this dilemma ya see?

  8. That jacket gives me life and those shoes are on point too! Such a cute outfit. Sisterhood Of The Night looks amazing, and Tavi is just queen. <3 And that guy sounds like a babe, go for it! xx


  9. Wow, you're great! We must be twins!! I also wrote a blog. It's about the conforming affects of school. And I LOVED your idea about the feminist club. So trying it, although my school is equally as small... One more thing I also like thrifting (as we say in the US), and am the DIY queen ��. I can't wait to read your other posts. You go girl! Rock on!!!!

    1. Thank uU so much, this is the loveliest!! <3

  10. Love your denim jacket !


  11. Omg your shoes and your jacket are lovely! And those pictures are so beautiful as well!
    x Inés

  12. loved reading this, your ideas and posts are rlly cool and inspiring! can't wait for moreee x

  13. You have an amazing blog! What you think of follow for follow?



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