13/01/2013 | "hopelessly devoted to you"


Proudest picture ever also the saddest cause it signalled the end of the night.

So today marks a monumental day in my calender. A day that, 2 years ago, I never thought would happen. A day that left me empty for months, crying at the slightest reminder of that night. A day so monumental I'm still crying today. This day, 13th of March, last year I went to see One Direction perform at the O2 Arena in Dublin. Not only was it my first proper actually-famous concert (yes, my first proper actually-famous concert, I was deprived up until then) but it was also the first time I would get to see One Direction in person, as the real, living human beings that I suspected they were. A substantial reward for the 3 years I had spent devoting a hell of a lot of time to them and also sacrificing what may had been a normal, social life, but now lies a mystery.

I'm not sure if that at all sounds weird to you. You know, me devoting endless hours on them, sacrificing a hell of a lot for them, arguing on behalf of them, crying because of them, and all those things that comes with being a fangirl. That description probably makes me sound like some crazed girl that sits in the dark of her room, around her candle-lit shrine, humming 'What Makes You Beautiful' over and over again, while bowing down to some mega-sized poster of them on my wall. Well I'm going to clarify that, in fact, I am quite normal, I do try to partake of this thing called life, and surprisingly I do have a few friends. *Shock horror*

I think my love for One Direction is the worst/best thing that has ever happened to me. It's a relationship that's kind of strange but undeniably strong. Any normal person would agree that it's a bit extremely crazy that millions of teenage girls, and a few boys, would defend their idols to the death, devote so much time to them, and sacrifice all sorts of things for them, with it going unnoticed to their idols. And it is. Why do people, specifically teenage girls, fall so hopelessly in love with celebrities, specifically music artists. What are we even getting in return for it?

Besides the dispiriting fact that they may never know who you are, it's kind of like having a best friend relationship. Yea, I know it sounds a bit mad, "A best friend relationship?? They don't even bloody know who you are and nor do they care!!1! You need help!", but it's true for me anyways. It's kind of like I poke fun at them, and call them names, I roll my eyes when they say something stupid, and feel like hitting them when they do something stupid, but under no circumstance are you allowed to call them names and make fun of them, I'll defend them, stand up for them, I'll cry with them, and laugh with them, when I see they're happy I'm happy, and when something pisses them off I get pissed off too. It's kind of an unrelenting love, as much as they annoy you and you want to take a break from them, you just can't cause you hold to many memories with them, you've had too much fun with them. Some people would see it as an unrequited love. I'm gaining nothing, but that's far from the truth. They've brought  me close to people, helped me make friends with different people, given me something to hold on to. I feel like I can grow up and retell the stories of how I did .... for them, or bought .... for them, and hopefully how I met them, to my children. Like the mothers and grandmothers of this generation retell how they fell for the first love as a teen, whether that be Elvis Presley or The Beatles. It's something special and something I wouldn't give up for the world.

Anyways to commemorate the best day of my life, I am going to watch This is Us while scoffing down copious amounts of junk to fill the emptiness that comes with pcd (post concert depression, and yes I'm still suffering).

Enjoy some pictures I took from the most amazing night of my life. Also please excuse some of the bad pictures, I did not have the fabbest seats plus I was a shaking, crying mess which detracted from picture taking abilites.

*lyric in title from Grease

I think I cried a lot cause it was Niall's last day home. :'(

Are any of you hopelessly devoted (pun intended) to someone that may never know of your existence? Do people actually suffer from PCD for 1 year or am I just too deep in? 

~V x

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  1. i so so so so feel your pain. like literally reading this has so nearly brought me to tears - you've just summed up the last four years of my life urgh. I first saw them live in january of 2012 and that feeling of complete and utter disbelief and euphoria when you see them for real for the first time is something that i don't think you can ever put into words. one of the things that brought me and my best friend of five years together was our shared love of 1D and that just makes them 1000392730X more special to me too. Okay i'm going to have to drag myself away now when i could talk for literal years about all the boys have done for me but basically I SO FEEL YOU RIGHT NOW. and it sucks, but i wouldn't change it for the world. <3 xxxoox

    (also omg you know when you feel hollow and sick with worry and excitement thinking about this night? like the stomach churning emptiness when you realise they're gone.... i'm so done here



    1. omfg thank you so so so so much! one direction are so like magical cause they bring so many people together and it's so weirdly amazing! I don't think I could ever not love them as much as I do! x

  2. ohhhhh myyyy goddddd, you are so lucky! i may have a secret (okay not-so-secret) obsession with one direction (my friend and i call ourselves "closet directioners" haha) so this post is pretty much the best thing ever. hope you get through the pcd, it's rough, i know :).


    1. haha thank youu! I used to shy away into the closet when I was with certain people but now I really couldn't care less cause I like what I like! x


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